39- A Better Player

Dane: [GM] You know what? I'm just going to start rolling dice to determine who gets attacked. It makes me feel less responsible for the savage beating you're all about to receive. 
[Dane] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: One of the bugs with a big scythe-y blade claw swoops down from the ceiling, chittering and yelling as it slashes at Bailey and spits drool all over him for completely vindictive reasons.
[Dane] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: However, Bailey manages to dodge ever-so barely out of the way.
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey catches hit hat as he barely evades. "Err, y'all. Gonna have tah say we should RUN!"
Ian: [OOC] Dane, can we just start running to end this little er... murder party?
Dane: [GM] Sure thing, I'll only do one more attack then.
[Dane] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: [GM] And appropriately, Ian wins. By this of course I mean Mari gets attacked, so it's really not so much 'winning' as it is 'being mutilated'.
Soo: [OOC] I'm still behind everyone else, right?
Dane: [GM] Another bug swoops down and takes a swing at Mari with it's bladed forearm.
Dane: [GM] Believe so.
Joe: [OOC] Yeah, she is. She was getting all emo over shooting that guy.
Soo: [OOC] There's a rule in the books that lets me pull an ally out of harm's way, isn't there? As long as I do it before the dice are rolled?
Kyle: [OOC] Well yeah, but it carries the risk of being hit yourself.
Soo: [OOC] Still, Mari's a spell caster and if I know the precious few cliches I do about this sort of thing, wizards are flimsy.
Ian: [OOC] So are nobles though.
Soo:[OOC] Actually I have a fairly good Constitution score, my build is mostly about my background points, not my base-stats.
Dane: [GM] This discussion is kind of undermining the er... narrative flow.
Soo: [OOC] She who dares, wins.
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali yells "Mari! Look out!" and yanks her out of the way of the attacking bug by the back of her jacket!
Dane: [GM] Okay, first the roll for the attack.
[Dane] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: [GM] Kali succeeds in pulling Mari away. Now the roll for if it hits Kali.
[Dane] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: [GM] Oh my...
Soo: [OOC] That bad?
Kyle: [OOC] Dane only says that when he rolls a critical.
Dane: [GM] No need to panic dear, I'll just roll the effect.
[Dane] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: [GM] Oh my... again.
Joe: [OOC] Soo, now would be a good time to start rolling a fresh character. May I suggest something my character can easily ride on. Maybe a large dog.
Dane: [GM] I'd feel bad about this if I had decided it, not the dice.
Dane: [GM] The bug lunges forward as Kali pulls Mari away. The bladed forearm swings high and strikes Kali's left arm a couple of centimeters below the shoulder. The razor sharp blade slices cleanly through the entire limb, slicing it off in one wet loping sound. The insect quickly seizes upon the severed arm and begins to gnaw on it.
Soo: [OOC] Oh poot.
Joe: [OOC] An entirely appropriate reaction to losing an arm.
Dane: [GM] Give yourself 1 mortal wound Soo.
Ian: [OOC] Since we're all running, can I get melodramatic, rules somewhat negated?
Dane: [GM] Sure.
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari screams at the bug and lobs a fireball spell at it.
Dane: [GM] Don't bother rolling, I'll just say you blew it to bits.
Joe: [OOC] You go Ian, avenge 10% of Soo's character.
Soo: [OOC] I think a whole arm is more than 10% of Kali.
Joe: [OOC] You haven't seen her thighs. She's been letting herself go.
Soo: [OOC] Oh crud. I guess I'll have to slug a potion.
Kyle: [OOC] Potions don't work on severed limbs. Could use one to help re-attach a limb.
Dane: [GM] If a certain dramatic wizard hadn't just vaporized it along with the bug.
Soo: [OOC] I'm starting to think helping people in RPGs is a really bad idea.
Joe: [OOC] Hey, you are becoming a better player!