Saturday, June 9, 2012

1- Fiscally Min-Maxed

Dane: Hey man
Kyle: Hey
Kyle: Is Ian or Joe on yet?
Dane: No. Joe has to get the new person set up.
Kyle: New person?
Dane: Yeah. Three people is too hard to balance, Joe is bringing a college friend in.
Kyle: What's the catch?
Dane: There's Ian.
Kyle: Seriously though. What did you offer the devil for a spare soul?
Ian: Hai yall!
Ian: What?
Dane: Joe is bringing someone else in Ian. Kyle thinks I had to bribe him.
Kyle: Joe doesn't do things without a reason. AN EVIL REASON.
Dane: His terms were reasonable...
Kyle: Oh? Only half your firstborn child?
Ian: What was it Dane?
Dane: He just wanted my assurance that I wouldn't house-rule his first character down. It's fair.
Ian: Umm, Dane? That's like giving him a sturdy club and an ice floe full of baby seals.
Kyle: Baby seals with wads of money hidden inside and candy for organs.
Dane: If Joe is good at one thing, it's undermining my will anyway. It's more important we get another player to balance out the group.
Dane: I mean, do you really want to keep being a four-person RPG club for a sixth year?
Kyle: Valid, if not unpleasant.
Joe: Sup fags.
Kyle: Ever classy.
Ian: Hai!
Dane: Your friend coming?
Joe: Always right to business Dane. Always. She's all set up, she's just making dinner or something.
Ian: She?
Dane: Ian, for the love of all that is semi-holy don't hit on her just because she's female.
Ian: I'm a classy man of sophtacation.
Kyle: You misspelled 'sophistication'.
Joe: Hey.
Soo: Sorry I'm late. I let a pot of water boil over on the stove.
Ian: Hehe, been there. Thankfully, I'm an expert chef these days.
Dane: I swear Ian. I'll run across town, pull down your pants, and remove the bluer of your two balls with the flashing of a plastic spoon.
Soo: I'm getting the impression I came into this late...
Kyle: No, in this group, threats of genital mutilation are like 'hellos'.
Soo: You'll forgive me if I don't exactly play along just yet.
Dane: Anyhow. Let me look at everyone's character sheets. You can introduce them as we upload them for reference.
Dane: Everyone else knows, but I'll repeat it for Soo's sake: make sure you update your sheets with a fresh upload when you improve a stat okay?
Soo: Okay
Ian: Yes mom.
Soo: This is my character, Kali'nari d'Vostog.
Kyle: She has a full name Joe. The caliber of the group just went up a couple notches.
Dane: Interesting build. Have you played Eldaria before?
Soo: No, but I read the fluff material pretty heavily.
Soo: I used most of my points to front-load my Intelligence score. The rest I blew on enough points of Status to make myself a low noble.
Joe: Ah, wish fulfillment. In real life, she has to order off the dollar menu.
Soo: I can't wait to deconstruct YOUR character fatass.
Ian: Buuuurn.
Soo: Ride your horse somewhere else white knight.
Ian: Oh um, sorry.
Kyle: I... I think I love you.
Soo: The rest went into social skills and a lot of the Resources trait.
Ian: The one that gives you plot-justified money every week? How much?
Dane: 50,000 Imperial marques a week?!
Kyle: Shit. You're fiscally min-maxed.

1 comment:

  1. Fiscally min-maxed. I've done this so many times in point buy games. I make a charismatic face that somehow makes billions of dollars a second or some god awful insane amount and then funds every other character to the point where we have a group of 3 people with no income at all and 1 person with a billionaire budget that pays for their supermechs, airships, mansions, etc.

    This is just making me want to get a game of GURPS going again to do just that, XD