Wednesday, August 6, 2014

138- Seriously Stretched Logic

Dane: [GM] The stone plug is now rushing up the tunnel with a terrific roar, smashing everything in it's path.
Kyle: [OOC] Is running going to work?
Dane: [GM] Why would I tell you how to solve a challenge? That's your end of the GM/Player relationship.
Soo: [OOC] Because I'm adorable?
Dane: [GM] Nope.
Ian: [OOC] Because you secretly care about us?
Dane: [GM] Nope.
Joe: [OOC] Because I know where you live?
Dane: [GM] As evidenced by that time we tried to split a pack of fries last week, I would win.
Kyle: [OOC] Because I have a back-order of products at your comic book shop to pay for and Bailey's untimely demise will send me into a grief so dark that I might not be able to recover and come pay for that merch till next week.
Dane: [GM] But I need that money to rent extra chairs. I'm hosting a regional Magic card thing this weekend!
Kyle: [OOC] Suddenly things look a bit more friendly in this relationship.
Dane: [GM] Fine, no. Running would not get you far enough and it's moving faster than you.
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali let's go of Lord Beefstorm and starts to run. "Hurry up! Hurry up!"
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey runs along side her. "I dun' think we can outrun it!"
Soo: [Kali dVostog] "Yes! But the faster we're moving in the same direction, the less the impact with the stone will hurt.
Dane: [Techie] Techie looks back at Lord Beefstorm "Should we leave him there?"
Ian: [Mari Shasho] "I'm sure the plug will just push him along too."
Dane: [GM] The stone plug catches up to the party. It catches Lord Beefstorm's unconscious body, then the rest of you, pushing you against the flat surface as it races up the tunnel!
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey winces at the G-force. "Ugg... well yall. I reckon this might be the end. Been a pleasure."
Dane: [GM] The tunnel entrance is right up ahead, the white light of outside bathing the edges of the shuddering passage!
Joe: [Lord Beefstorm] Lord Beefstorm's body rolls around till his crotch is on Bailey's face.
Ian: [Mari Shasho] "Yeah, up until the whole 'about to die' thing, this seemed pretty fun."
Dane: [GM] The stone plug shoots out of the tunnel with huge popping sound. The stone is briefly airborne before smashing into a scrubby tree outside the temple grounds. The stone shatters on impact and that takes a lot of the force for you. Everyone gets one unavoidable minor wound and you're now stuck in a tree.
Soo: [Kali dVostog] "How did that work? I mean, err, hooray it worked!"
Ian: [OOC] That's some seriously stretched logic.
Dane: [GM] I'd be happy to horrifically induce compound fractures on your character until the only IC action you can take is begging for the sweet release of death.
Ian: [OOC] Hooray it worked!
Dane: [Techie] Techie suddenly sock-puppets for the GM and says "I feel like we overlooked something."
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] "I'm sure Beefstorm's body's 'round here somewhere."
Dane: [GM] The crystal. The whole reason for being here. It's currently sailing through the air after shooting out of the tunnel with you. It streaks across the sky and down into the valley.
Ian: [OOC] Cartoon physics is a wacky, wacky double-edged sword.

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