Wednesday, November 20, 2013

36- All Supposed to Die

Joe: [OOC] Oh shotgun, we're going to make beautiful things together. Mostly corpses.
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari picks up the shotgun and gives it a quick check-over.
Ian: [OOC] Checking it for enchantments Dane.
Dane: [GM] Nope, regular old garden variety shotgun.
Ian: [Mari Shasho] "Nope, regular old scattergun. Think I'll keep it anyhow."
Joe: [OOC] What the heck, I claimed that first!
Kyle: [OOC] You don't have hands, or a torso, how could you use it?
Joe: [OOC] Let me send you another diagram.
Kyle: [OOC] No, don't.
Ian: [OOC] Besides, I'm the only person besides Kyle with weapon training besides pistols.
Soo: [OOC] Hooray, wizard with a shotgun.
Ian: [OOC] Yeah. All I need is a trenchcoat and a pack of smokes and we can go play Shadowrun instead.
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali decides to walk down the corridor a bit further.
Dane: [GM] The corridor is dark except where your lights illuminate, you can see the faint glow of red in the distance, but there has to be at least 200 yards of corridor between you and whatever is down there.
Kyle: [OOC] Trap hallway.
Ian: [OOC] Trap hallway.
Joe: [OOC] The trapiest.
Soo: [OOC] Huh?
Kyle: [OOC] No long empty section an ancient tomb ever avoids having some sort of trap set up in it. It's the linear nature that forces you to do them.
Soo: [OOC] A big part of these games is just knowing a pile of cliches, isn't it?
Dane: [GM] Maybe there aren't any traps, you know? Maybe just for once I chose to not have traps in a hallway. Maybe I got rid of the traps the minute you clowns decided to start expecting them.
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali continues down the hallway, looking around.
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey follows.
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari walks along, playing with her new shotgun.
Joe: [GR-210] GR-210 follows Mari, trying to plan on how to relieve Mari of her hands for the nerve of daring to take his shotgun.
Dane: [GM] As you walk along the corridor, you get about a third of the way through before GR-210 steps on a pressure plate. Darts begin to shoot out of the walls, whizzing past you in the dark!
Dane: [GM] Or MAYBE I left the traps in after telling you I took them out. MINDFUCK. Now give me some rolls for running down this corridor my trapped little rats! Roll for my pleasure!
Soo: [OOC] Is Dane okay?
Ian: [OOC] He's a pissed DM whose rolls are working out for him: he's as close to a cackling mad god as one can experience in our world.
Dane: [GM] Mwhahah! Roll! Embrace your destiny!

Dane: [GM] ...
Dane: [GM] ... shit.
Soo: [OOC] Dane?
Dane: [GM] You all make it down the hallway, having avoided every dart along the way...
Kyle: [OOC] And this would be the opposite of what Ian was talking about.
Joe: [OOC] That's half-hearted GM code-writing for "you were supposed to all die".
Dane: [GM] Not die, just... you know... suffer a little. I feel like you guys cosmically deserve it when you try to predict me like that.
Soo: [OOC] Should I like... pick up a dart and stab myself with it?
Dane: [GM] As much as I'd love to use my custom JK3K poison damage code, I feel like you deserve it the least Soo.
Kyle: [OOC] JK3K?
Dane: [GM] Joe-Killer 3000. The damage rules are my masterpiece. A potent poison so virulent and so carefully worded that not even Joe could nitpick his way out taking the damage.
Joe: [OOC] Spiff, I'm taking some of these darts then. We can use them on Dane's NPCs. The only thing better than dodging Zeus' lightening bolt is building a device that shoots those lightening bolts back up his bum. 
Dane: [GM] There isn't a word for how I feel about you Joe. Not in Elven, Entish or the tongues of Men. 

1 comment:

  1. This is just beautiful. This kinda reminded me of darths and droids at first, but you have brilliant humor thats all your own. Bravo, man, you got soda to shoot out my nose