80- Magical Thingy

Dane: [GM] The room beyond the door is full of stone statues. The statues depict men in armor and are life-sized. At the very center of the room is a stone altar with a single object on it: a rod made of gold, decorated with intricate rooms.
Soo: [OOC] Oh hey look, it's the thingy.
Joe: [OOC] What was it called again?
Kyle: [OOC] I actually don't remember. Form Baton?
Ian: [OOC] I think that's from the Wii WarioWare game.
Kyle: [OOC] Oh right. Yeah. Dane?
Dane: [GM] I'm trying to find what I called it in my notes. I actually kind of forgot. It's just a plot device and I think I just called it a stick in my notes.
Soo: [OOC] So none of us remember what this was called, even the guy who invented it.
Joe: [OOC] I'm deeming it to be the Magical Thingy, after Soo's name for it.
Dane: [GM] Unfortunately, I'm going to have to roll with you guys on that until I come up with the right name.
Joe: [OOC] But now on to more important business. Ian, if you'd be so kind...
Ian: [OOC] Service with a smile.
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari walks into the room and begins to wreck the statues with her fire magic one by one.
Ian: [OOC] Need rolls Dane?
Dane: [GM] Nah, inanimate objects and there's no time pressure, so we can just let it go.
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali jumps back a bit as Mari begins destroying the stonework. "What the?"
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey nods. "Jus' a precaution ma'am."
Joe: [GR-210] "You see, the item we desire is in this room and is apparently unguarded save for these stone warriors. As a result it stands to reason that if we take the magical... thingy... they'll come to life and try to kill us."
Soo:[Kali dVostog] "Couldn't they just be statues?"
Joe: [GR-210] "Couldn't the life-sized statues of warriors just be statues. You're adorable."
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] "Right then, my job now." Bailey walks over to the altar and ponders it for traps.
[Kyle] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: [GM] There don't appear to be any traps of a mechanical nature on the altar.
Kyle: [OOC] So the trap is probably magical. I'm going to suggest the Pull Out method.
Soo: [OOC] Care to elaborate?
Joe: [OOC] Pulling out, in addition to be a fool-proof form of birth control for stupid people, is also the best way to extricate a piece of loot you know damn well is trapped.
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey takes off his hat and ties some of his rope around the crown of it, making a wide loop. He then places the hat sideways on altar and runs back with the ropes to the group. "Good to go. Mari! You 'bout done?"
Ian: [Mari Shasho] "All ready to go!"
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey yanks the ropes, causing his hat to be pulled towards the group with the baton inside it.
Dane: [GM] As the rope-hat contraption yanks the baton away, a massive beam of magical energy blasts out of the altar. The top of Bailey's hat is singed as it gets clipped by the beam and the baton bounces along the floor and up to his feet. The chunks of the stone soldiers begin to wiggle but there's not enough intact of them for any of them to do anything beyond that. I hate you people.
Joe: [OOC] I feel like we should have a pit crew timer. We're getting good at this.
Soo: [OOC] Is there really a reason why I'm here?
Joe: [OOC] I think pit crews have someone who brings the cooler full of snacks.