Wednesday, March 19, 2014

85- Dr. Soo(se)

Dane: [Soldier 3, in good health] The third soldier whips his rifle around and tries to shoot Mari as she administers a potion to Kali. "Die bitch!" he yells, because I felt like having him say something.
Dane: [GM] However the shot misses Mari by a close margin.
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari ducks a little and flips the bird at the soldier.
Soo: [OOC] Is it your turn again already?
Ian: [OOC] Mocking NPCs is always a free action.
Dane: [Dr. Himmult, in good health] Himmult pulls out his own pistol and jumps back to try and get some space between everyone else and himself. "I should have known you would be heathens like the rest!"
Joe: [GR-210] "Well yeah, duh. We barely know you and you're super-fancy plan specifically involves killing people we know. What exactly are the odds of us, random folks you just met, also being cool with a plan involving ancient cults and mass-murder?"
Dane: [GM] Reeeeally stretching the limits of that free action there Joe.
Joe: [OOC] Oh, then GR just calls him a pedophile. That's nice and short.
Dane: [GM] As the top of the turn order comes around again, you all hear a faint buzzing sound. Up in the sky, a biplane is coming in low over the trees!
Kyle: [OOC] Okay so who has the best long range ability. I'm thinking Mari and fireballs.
Ian: [OOC] Got it. Time for flaming murder.
Dane: [GM] The plane begins to swing low around the top of the platform. The gunner in the back begins strafing the whole area with a machine gun!
Dane: [GM] Gimme a roll for everyone to avoid the spray of fire. I would roll attacks but this is more like an area effect for simplicity.
Dane: [GM] The machine gun's spread rains down on the platform. Soldier 1 and Soldier 2 are both hit by the high-caliber rounds and drop to the ground dead with massive wounds. Himmult scrambles from the platform with Soldier 3 and begins to flee. None of you are hit except Danielle. She takes a grazing wound to the arm.
Kyle: [OOC] I'm starting to think our GM has a grudge against arms.
Dane: [GM] I'm titling this campaign "A Farewell to Arms".
Soo: [OOC] Calling them 'Soldier  1' and 'Soldier 2' makes me feel like we're doing Dr. Seuss. 
Kyle: [OOC] I will not roll to confirm the crit, I will not roll for that shit.
Joe: [OOC] And what happened then? Why in the Tomb of Horrors they say, that his Hit Dice grew 3 sizes that day... because he was multiclassing out of rogue into barbarian for some reason.
Soo: [OOC] Okay that's enough of that.
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey jumps down to the ground. "What the 'ell?!"
Dane: [GM] The plane seems to cycle off as the soldiers and Dr. Himmult flee. It must be after them.
Joe: [OOC] A likely situation, but I still think we should kill it anyway.
Ian: [OOC] That's what you said in the last campaign and it ruined everything.
Joe: [OOC] What? Dane was in his Game of Thrones mode and all the NPCs were white guys with beards, how was I supposed to know the one I killed was the king?
Kyle: [OOC] Because we were in his castle and he was sitting on his throne.
Joe: [OOC] The cultural norms of fantasy kingdoms can't be easily presumed, Kyle. That guy could have been a farmer and it was just customary for him to have a fancy seat.
Kyle: [OOC] Oh yes, truly I've been ethnocentric. How misguided of me.

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