117- Chronically-Ill, Incontinent Gazelle Ploy

Dane: [GM] Another shot rings through the valley, blasting a small shrub on a rock from beside you.
Joe: [Lord Beefstorm] "SHRUBBY! NOOOOOOO!"
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari ducks down at looks around. "That sniper's pretty dang close with those shots. He's got to be good."
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey nods. "Yeah, we ought'a stay low and move forward from 'ere."
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali agrees. "And spread out. We're all together so he doesn't have to adjust much to hit each of us. If we spread out, he has to track a lot of targets."
Dane: [GM] Another shot zips past the group, exploding a stone over Techie's head.
Joe: [Lord Beefstorm] "PRINCE ROCKSTIEN VON ROCKMEYER! WHY DO YOU KILL EVERYTHING I LOVE YOU MURDEROUS ASSHOLE?!"
Ian: [OOC] You named a shrub "Shrubby" but you named a rock that?
Joe: [OOC] Beefstorm's creativity isn't like his raw sex appeal: it ebbs and flows. But Techie nearly getting a Call of Duty'd just gave me an idea.
Dane: [GM] The idea of you having an idea always gives me an odd clenching sensation in my bum.
Joe: [OOC] I dumped almost all of Techie's build points that I could into the Always Prepared trait, to represent her being an engineer and having lots of gadgets and whatnot. Always Prepared lets her produce an item from her inventory of a certain degree of rareness, limited in rarity and frequency by her trait.
Kyle: [OOC] And at the level you took it?
Joe: [OOC] One item of up to Rare level rarity once per hour.
Ian: [OOC] I'm getting a Batman vibe here.
Soo: [OOC] Is sniper repellent a thing?
Joe: [OOC] Nope, but this is.
Joe: [Lord Beefstorm] "Techie! Get those flash bombs we totally acquired back at camp."
Dane: [Techie] Techie pulls out a package of flash bombs. They're small, golf ball sized glass spheres with chemicals in them. "I don't know why you're phrasing it like that, but here you go."
Joe: [OOC] A package of six flash bombs is of Rare rarity. 
Soo: [Kali dVostog] "Convenient. So we're going to use these to cover us as we run?"
Joe: [Lord Beefstorm] "I was going to say we should mix them together, make a giant flash bomb and die in a really cool way. Your idea works too I suppose."
Soo: [Kali dVostog] "Explain to me how I'm the family disappointment again?"
Dane: [GM] The sniper makes another shot, this one very close.
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey fixes to run like hell.
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari starts to warm up a fire spell. "I'm going to lob a fireball as we run. That should add to the confusion. Ready to go!"
Dane: [Techie] Techie holds on of the bombs aloft and throws it to the ground. "Cover your eyes!"
Dane: [GM] The glass orb shatters and a blinding flash bursts all around you. 
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari throws her fireball toward where she assumes the sniper to be.
Dane: [GM] You're trying to throw a fireball while covering your eyes. I'm going to need a roll to just avoid the local scenery, since you're all running among rocks. Everyone else give me a roll for running to the next cover while under the same circumstances. So two from Ian, one from everyone else okay?
[Soo] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
[Kyle] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
[Joe] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
[Ian] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
[Ian] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: [GM] Okay...
Dane: [GM] As you run, both Kyle and Beefstorm manage to trip on rocks and fall flat on the ground (but on the upside, you're now prone and behind cover). Kali makes it to the next bit of cover safely. Meanwhile Mari, blinded by the light, throws her fireball and hits a nearby boulder. The shower of flames isn't enough to deal damage but it lights the clothes of both Mari and Techie on fire.
Joe: [Lord Beefstorm] "LADY BOULDEROPOULOUS OF THE KINGDOM OF BOULDERS! NOOOO AS WELL!"
Joe: [OOC] This trick seemed a lot cooler in my head.
Kyle: [OOC] Look at the upside: the sniper might be one of those cold, honorable guys and now he's going to give up because we're weak prey.
Soo: [OOC] This is less a wounded gazelle ploy and more a chronically-ill, incontinent gazelle ploy.