Friday, June 13, 2014

119- A Pox

Dane: [GM] The figure smashes down in front of you in the middle of the courtyard, shaking the very earth beneath your feet. It is some sort of massive, hairy creature: at least ten feet tall and covered in a thick, matted coat of coarse fur. It's bestial head is crowned by two massive, curling horns. It bares meaty hands with claws and prepares to attack.
Soo: [OOC] A Sasquatch?
Ian: [OOC] I don't think those are native to New Zealand.
Dane: [GM] For the last time it's not New Zealand.
Kyle: [OOC] I was more thinking of a Wampa, given the horns.
Soo: [OOC] Wampas have horns?
Joe: [OOC] The do, but I'm not really sure if they would be considered massive. I think I could go back and watch Empire Strikes Back again.
Dane: [GM] I'm going to roll initiatives.
Dane: [GM] Okay it's Monster, Kyle, Soo, Joe, Ian, Techie. Here we go.
Joe: [OOC] You know I have Wookiepedia up and I'm thinking those horns don't look so massive.
Dane: [Monster, in good health] The beast charges forward across the courtyard. It's almost to the group as you pack in by the gate. It lets out a bestial roar.
Ian: [OOC] True but maybe Dane meant massive in the relative sense, like to us you know?
Soo: [OOC] Hmm true, but why would a snow-climate creature be here? Wouldn't white fur be an evolutionary disadvantage?
Kyle: [OOC] Good point.
Dane: [GM] Monster. Bearing down on you. KYLE.
Ian: [OOC] I don't think Wampas are exclusive to the planet Hoth thought. If I remember one of the SW games on the N64 had brown mountain Wampas on Gall. 
Kyle: [OOC] I think that was Shadows of the Empire.
Dane: [GM] KYLE. TURN. NOW.
Joe: [OOC] Lord Beefstorm has knowledge skills for extraterrestrial life. Maybe it applies to things from other canons too.
Soo: [OOC] That strikes me as a bit of a stretch.
Kyle: [OOC] Let's just focus on the matter in front of us.
Dane: [GM] FINALLY.
Kyle: [OOC] Dane, what color fur is the monster in front of us?
Dane: [GM] That's it...
Dane: [Monster, in good health] The monster magically covers the extra distance between itself as if fueled by some sort of cosmic rage and the group and makes a massive swing with its claw! 
[Dane] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: [GM] The swing smashes into Bailey and sends him flying. One moderate wound Kyle.
Kyle: [OOC] Hey, we weren't technically off-topic.
Soo: [OOC] This is a matter of tactics Dane. If it IS a Wampa, we're at least going to need a blaster rifle.
Dane: [GM] A pox on all of your houses. I'm serious. I'm going to go to your houses and pox the hell out of them.

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