Wednesday, January 15, 2014

59- Silly Hats and Male Nudity

Dane: [GM] Professor Graham wanders over to his bookshelf and pulls a folio out. He lays it on the desk and begins to sift through it. "If one of these dimensional portals has been opened, there has to be a mechanism to turn it off..."
Soo: [OOC] Oh yeah, that makes sense. "Hey guys, let's build a giant phone/taxi to God, but make sure we can turn it off too."
Kyle: [OOC] "Ugg, the Creators are drunk dialing us again."
Joe: [OOC] "Ya know, I never shay thish but... but I love you guysh I created."
Dane: [GM] Soo, you're not currently on any of my lists, please don't put yourself there.
Soo: [OOC] I'm sorry.
Kyle: [OOC] Wait a minute, does that mean I'm on a list too?
Dane: [GM] The contents of my GM lists are strictly confidential. I'll only comfort you by assuring you that it's a different list than Joe is on.
Dane: [GM] Graham finds something and puts it towards the group. It's a temple carving in the style similar to the ones you saw back up north. In the carving a man in an elaborate headdress and loincloth is gesturing towards what looks like a door with a wand.
Joe: [GR-210] "It all makes sense now! The portals are weak against silly hats and male nudity! Kali! Use your resources to procure a silly hat! Mari! Burn off Bailey's clothing! We have a world to save!"
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey groans. "Would it damage yer office iffin' I kicked him inta a wall doc?"
Dane: [GM] Graham continues, apparently having a selective blindness to stupidity that allowed him to tolerate GR-210 for years. "All carvings depicting the ritual creation of portals feature a priest wielding a very specific-looking wand. I believe that such a wand must act as a control mechanism for the portal."
Ian: [OOC] I'm not sure if his selective blindness to stupidity helped him tolerate GR, or if knowing GR-210 that long burned it out of him. Chicken or the egg, really.
Ian: [Mari Sasho] Mari ponders the picture. "Makes sense, but where are we even gonna get one of those things? The site at Colton is pretty much a deathtrap, assuming there'd be one there.
Dane: [GM] "The wand in the pictures is described as a "Caller's Baton" and was a symbol of high authority in Old Velthri culture. Specifically it was only owned by high-tier priests. If you wanted one, you'll have to find the tomb of such a person."
Soo: [OOC] Isn't this a lot of conjecture? Are we really going to go dig through some entire (probably trap-laden) tomb just to get a stick on some guy's hunch?
Ian: [OOC] But it WILL work, you see. It will work because that's what we're investing time into obtaining.
Soo: [OOC] So, because we believe this guy, it automatically makes him right?
Kyle: [OOC] More along the lines of "if Dane wasted our time that much, we'd drive to his house and break his shins".
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali nods. "Which presents a whole different problem: where are we going to find a tomb of an Old Velthri high priest?"
Dane: [GM] Graham smiles widely. "Actually, I know of an undespoiled tomb that I was planning an expedition to in the near future. I have several other sites to explore though, so if you'd be willing to bring back any other significant finds I could just send you in my stead."
Joe: [OOC] Yay! We get to plunder a tomb with the full blessing of some random white guy from an entirely different culture!
Ian: [OOC] To be fair, in the era of pulp adventure that this is set around, that kind of IS how archaeology worked.
Kyle: [OOC] I hope it's one of those tombs with ancient weapons that are inexplicably better than common commerical firearms just because they're old and therefore magic.
Soo: [OOC] You guys seem awfully excited.
Ian: [OOC] We're getting sent into an enclosed, ancient space looking for a treasure! It's a dungeon crawl! 
Soo: [OOC] So we just break into a place?
Ian: [OOC] Yep! And then there's free things and violence.
Joe: [OOC] So pretty much like when I invited you over for Christmas, Soo.
Soo: [OOC] Is it normal to think we're actually the bad guys in this game?
Kyle: [OOC] At first, but the voice in the back of your head will get softer as your roleplayer's intuition seizes control of your mind from your sense of decency.
Joe: [OOC] The coup in my mind was very bloodless... everyone got smothered with pillows.


  1. an "Caller's Baton"

    It's nice to see some GM/player harmony on this one. I've got a player who always insists on investigating other options even when the obvious dungeon crawl is front and center. There are games where that's appropriate, but they're rare...

    1. Got it (I think I named it something else at first or something). I think if you catch a couple more mistakes you get a free sandwich or something. I should probably make punchcards.