58- Just Shut Up and Roll With It

Dane: [GM] I'm going to just say they let you all through, before Joe makes this worse. However, they're taking your weapons. No ifs, ands or Joe-based idiocy about it.
Ian: [OOC] At least Danielle isn't armed. I can feel moderately safe again.
Joe: [OOC] Oh yeah, I forgot she existed for a moment.
Dane: [GM] I do as well sometimes: I just think of them as the happy moments in the shattered remains of my life.
Soo: [OOC] Is there some kind of medication plan for GMs?
Kyle: [OOC] Typically no. At best, you can manage to put them down before they finally go over the edge. Every major serial killer and assassin of recent history has been linked to roleplaying games in one way or another
Ian: [OOC] It goes deeper than that even: who killed Abraham Lincoln? John Wilkes Booth. What was John Wilkes Booth? An actor! A professional at playing roles!
Soo: [OOC] Let me guess: Lee Harvey Oswald was a LARPer?
Kyle: [OOC] Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't the GM of his group, the guy in the grassy knoll was, but you get the idea.
Dane: [GM] Professor Graham's office at Empress University is a dense maze of boxes, bookshelves and assorted artifacts. His small desk sits in the only thin shaft of light that gets in through the window. Graham himself is a short, pudgy man in an aged suit. His glasses are small and perch on the top of a rounded nose. His whole office smells of chalk and dust.
Joe: [GR-210] "Ghilly you old sod! How have you been?"
Dane: [GM] Graham smiles down at GR-210 "News of your new body got here before you did. I can say I think I'm doing better than at least one of us. And who are your companions here eh?"
Joe: [GR-210] "A rich gimp, a firebug, an incompetent adventurer and a maid."
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali smiles warmly and gives a little nod. "Kalinara d'Vostog, Countess of the Third Banner of House Vostog."
Soo: [OOC] I never got use her full title before! It's fun!
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari bows more deeply. "Mari Shasho, attendant to the Countess d'Vostog."
Joe: [OOC] Interesting choice given her other titles are "mass murderer" and "giant lesbian".
Ian: [OOC] I think I should avoid identifying myself as a pyromancer until the police conclude their investigation into last night. Also, blushing once does not constitute a "giant lesbian".
Joe: [OOC] I've seen you roleplay a relationship before, Ian. You have the subtlety of a truck hitting a wall. A big screaming lesbian truck hitting a big screaming lesbian wall.
Kyle: [OOC] Well, time to re-route this back to the game before it gets offensive (well, more so).
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] Bailey tips his hat. "Mr. Hunt. I solve problems."
Dane: [Danielle] Danielle faintly nods. "I serve the master. My name is a trifle."
Dane: [GM] Professor Graham gets up. "Ah, well it is good to meet you all, I should say! Now what brings you to me today?"
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali walks over and hands him the journal of Dillon Johnson. "We're performing an investigation into something that happened up north in a mining town called Colton. We believe this book contains something useful but its author was an aficionado of Old Velthri religions."
Dane: [GM] "Ah yes well... let me take a look."
Kyle: [OOC] So we're still avoiding mentioning the giant murderous bugs, right?
Soo: [OOC] It's probably for the best if we keep that to ourselves. It might cause a panic.
Ian: [OOC] I don't know. We murdered tons of people; I personally blew up an entire bar and set a row of houses on fire. I think the people of this setting are getting used to trauma.
Dane: [GM] Ghilliam reads through the journal for a while before closing it. "This is quite grave indeed. I had my suspicions going through it but the end notes do confirm it."
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] "Got somethin' doc?"
Dane: [GM] "The Old Velthri believed that all life on this planet came from another world. They believed that super-intelligent beings shaped humanity and left them on this world to serve some sort of later cosmic purpose. They built great monuments that were supposed to act as signals to the Creators, as they called them, to return. What exactly the Old Velthri expected the cosmic purpose to be varied and it was one of the main schisms in their culture. 
Joe: [OOC] If one of those sects was thinking the purpose was "to be food" they won the bet.
Soo: [Kali dVostog] "But what's so terrible about old religious beliefs?"
Dane: [GM] Graham nods grimly. "The magic of Old Velthri society was highly advanced for its time, more advanced even than today's contemporary magical studies. My research has been leading me to believe that they may have actually constructed advanced magical portals in their attempts to create beacons for their Creator gods. These portals wouldn't be like the rare teleportation portals that currently exist: they would not bridge distances but planes of reality instead. This journal sounds like perhaps one of them has been found!"
Joe: [GR-210] "Going to just jump in here and ruin things Ghilly but the thing is that they DID find a portal. They also opened it somehow and now legions of giant bugs are pouring out of it. It was pretty badass, mind you, but still bad."
Dane: [GM] Graham sighs weakly. "Does anyone know about this besides you?"
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari shakes her head. "We figure no one will believe us."
Dane: [GM] "You are likely right my dear. But it is for the best that they don't. These 'bugs' you describe are extra-dimensional beings. They will be very hard to kill as long as they have an open connection to their own reality. You'll have to close the portal somehow!"
Soo: [OOC] I feel like we're really clawing to avoid just calling in the army here.
Ian: [OOC] Let's put it like this: if we call in the army, we stop adventuring. If we stop adventuring, the game ends.
Soo: [OOC] So just shut up and roll with it?
Kyle: [OOC] RPGs typically hinge on the assumption that everyone on the planet except the heroes is both heinously incompetent and/or fantastically lazy even in the face of certain death.
Joe: [OOC] Kyle and Ian are so committed to realism, you see, that they're incompetent even IN the group just for the immersion factor. It's like when I ate six meals a day and went barefoot to the Lord of the Rings movies.
Ian: [OOC] I thought you did that because you're a fat-ass and had a grudge against the manager at the movie theater, respectively.