Wednesday, February 5, 2014

68- One Life to Pointlessly Waste

Dane: [GM] The workers are running screaming from the area.
Joe: [OOC] Maybe we should do some intimidation-based rolls to scare them back in line.
Ian: [OOC] Why? They don't seem like competent workers in the first place, seeing as they set off booby traps so fast  we didn't even have time to dwell on it.
Joe: [OOC] Exactly. Being that incompetent is an asset. We need to save a couple to set off traps later on too.
Soo: [OOC] That seems a little crass.
Joe: [OOC] What? Nameless hirelings are the currency of adventuring.
Kyle: [OOC] It is true what they say Soo: behind every great tabletop gaming hero is a long line of dead NPCs.
Ian: [OOC] And by that logic, we're the greatest gamers in history.
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali runs towards the stairs to the shrine that everyone is fleeing from. "Everyone just calm down! Calm down!"
Joe: [GR-210] "They're on fire, lass. I don't think they're going to listen."
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari whips up a brief spell to pull the flames off of the men, wading them up into a ball over her head.
Ian: [OOC] Flame siphon, Dane. We're not in combat so can I skip the roll?
Dane: [GM] By all means. The fire is pulled off of the men, extinguishing them. The fire now roils in a sphere over Mari's head.
Kyle: [Bailey Hunt] "Well look'a that! Mari can do somethin' with fire besides lightin' people up."
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari tosses the fire into the middle distance. "I've got talents."
Dane: [GM] The fireball streaks off over the tree-line and lands somewhere nearby with a deep roar. If this were even slightly less humid, you'd probably have just started a forest fire.
Ian: [OOC] I've really got to think about how I dispose of those.
Kyle: [OOC] Humanity- 1, Parrots- 0.
Joe: [GR-210] GR begins to skitter up the stairs. "Come on Danielle. The others may have to be cautious but I have your life to throw away. Let's get in there!"
Dane: [Danielle] Danielle jogs behind GR-210, looking concerned. "Let me get in front of you master, or else I may not be able to discard my life at a moment's notice for you!"
Soo: [OOC] I kind of miss when GR used to sound sort of like a robot. It helped mask the inherent callous evil of being played by Joe.
Dane: [GM] The top of the stairs is dominated by a small shrine-like structure. Around the outside are the freshly burned corpses of the workers who got here first and the smells and smoke of burned flesh waft from inside like a crematorium. It seems whatever burned the miners was inside and triggered as they entered.
Joe: [GR-210] "Hmm, a complex puzzle to solve... allow me to offer the following tactical solution: Danielle! Get in there and roll around on the floor with the corpses till you set off the trap.
Dane: [Danielle] "My only regret is that I have one life to pointlessly and childishly waste for you, Master."
Ian: [Mari Shasho] Mari runs up the stairs. "Wait! I have a spell that gives me temporary fire immunity. Let me go in first."
Kyle: [OOC] As much as I really want Danielle to die, my inner-gamer feels like that makes more sense.
Joe: [OOC] Bu.. but! Throwing NPC followers into traps is their destiny! It's like a baby turtle hatching and running to the ocean.
Soo: [OOC] Did you just equate baby turtles being born to a psychotically-unstable woman in a maid uniform rolling around on a pile of burnt corpses?
Joe: [OOC] Oh snap I forgot she was still in a maid uniform. Now I'm totally making her do it! We're only a beached dolphin away from recreating my bachelor party.
Kyle: [OOC] I never thought I'd say this, but I think we need to save Danielle from Joe.

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