Monday, February 17, 2014

73- The Screaming Restless Dead

Dane: [GM] Okay let's talk numbers here. There are five skeleton warriors that you can see in the room. Going to just number them after we do initiative for simplicity. Roll bitches!
[Joe] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
[Ian] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
[Kyle] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
[Soo] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
[Dane] ROLLS [6] TIMES. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: [GM] Okay, so it's going to be Skeleton 1, Skeleton 2, Kali, Skeleton 3, GR-210, Danielle, Mari, Skeleton 4, Skeleton 5, Bailey.
Kyle: [OOC] Ugg, how low was the roll?
Dane: [GM] If logic would allow it, Bailey would spontaneously fall into a coma.
Kyle: [OOC] Dammit.
Dane: [Skeleton 1, in good health] The skeleton warrior charges at Mari since she's the closest thing, swinging his obsidian-edged weapon with howling fury!
[Dane] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
[Dane] However he misses Mari narrowly!
Ian: [OOC] Ninja Shotgun Wizard!
Soo: [OOC] 'In good health'?
Dane: [GM] I was having a hard time keeping track of massed combat since all the enemies have similar names, so I got an addon that let's me mark their health status to differentiate them.
Soo: [OOC] Oh I see, so in good health for the SCREAMING RESTLESS DEAD.
Joe: [OOC] Oh yes, get an addon. Certainly easier than making encounters memorable and interesting events. Just shove a number on each of the faceless masses like a Soviet bread line.
Dane: [GM] And to that, I offer the following rebuttal:
Dane: [Skeleton 2, in good health] The second skeleton runs right past Mari up the hall towards GR-210, not quite reaching him but making his intent clear.
Joe: [OOC] Ack save me! Soo it's your turn. Lose your character's other arm to save me!
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali whips out her pistol and draws a bead on skeleton number two. She snaps off a shot.
[Soo] ROLLS. [GM] RECEIVES RESULTS.
Dane: [GM] The small-calibur pistol finds its mark and shatters the skeleton's head. It falls to the ground as a loose assortment of bones!
Soo: [OOC] I guess that was his... *puts on shades* Last Crusade.
Kyle: [OOC] Hon, if you're going to double-dip references, I'd keep it to things that are recent.
Soo: [OOC] Yeah but the CSI thing is kind of a meme, so I figured it was preserved by way of Internet longevity. And I figured pre-prequel trilogy LucasArts was covered under the Timeless Media Reference category.
Ian: [OOC] We may have to consult the handbook on this one.
Joe: [OOC] I have a motion before the Board of Acceptable Referential Humor next week to petition for an extension on an Steve Urkel sex joke, I can piggy-back the legislation if you want.
Dane: [GM] Shut up and fight to the death! Combat takes too damn long in this system to begin with!

Author's Note: The temptation to name this post "Steve Urkel Sex Joke" just to see what kind of internet traffic it generated was nearly overwhelming.

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