Monday, February 17, 2014

73- The Screaming Restless Dead

Dane: [GM] Okay let's talk numbers here. There are five skeleton warriors that you can see in the room. Going to just number them after we do initiative for simplicity. Roll bitches!
Dane: [GM] Okay, so it's going to be Skeleton 1, Skeleton 2, Kali, Skeleton 3, GR-210, Danielle, Mari, Skeleton 4, Skeleton 5, Bailey.
Kyle: [OOC] Ugg, how low was the roll?
Dane: [GM] If logic would allow it, Bailey would spontaneously fall into a coma.
Kyle: [OOC] Dammit.
Dane: [Skeleton 1, in good health] The skeleton warrior charges at Mari since she's the closest thing, swinging his obsidian-edged weapon with howling fury!
[Dane] However he misses Mari narrowly!
Ian: [OOC] Ninja Shotgun Wizard!
Soo: [OOC] 'In good health'?
Dane: [GM] I was having a hard time keeping track of massed combat since all the enemies have similar names, so I got an addon that let's me mark their health status to differentiate them.
Soo: [OOC] Oh I see, so in good health for the SCREAMING RESTLESS DEAD.
Joe: [OOC] Oh yes, get an addon. Certainly easier than making encounters memorable and interesting events. Just shove a number on each of the faceless masses like a Soviet bread line.
Dane: [GM] And to that, I offer the following rebuttal:
Dane: [Skeleton 2, in good health] The second skeleton runs right past Mari up the hall towards GR-210, not quite reaching him but making his intent clear.
Joe: [OOC] Ack save me! Soo it's your turn. Lose your character's other arm to save me!
Soo: [Kali dVostog] Kali whips out her pistol and draws a bead on skeleton number two. She snaps off a shot.
Dane: [GM] The small-calibur pistol finds its mark and shatters the skeleton's head. It falls to the ground as a loose assortment of bones!
Soo: [OOC] I guess that was his... *puts on shades* Last Crusade.
Kyle: [OOC] Hon, if you're going to double-dip references, I'd keep it to things that are recent.
Soo: [OOC] Yeah but the CSI thing is kind of a meme, so I figured it was preserved by way of Internet longevity. And I figured pre-prequel trilogy LucasArts was covered under the Timeless Media Reference category.
Ian: [OOC] We may have to consult the handbook on this one.
Joe: [OOC] I have a motion before the Board of Acceptable Referential Humor next week to petition for an extension on an Steve Urkel sex joke, I can piggy-back the legislation if you want.
Dane: [GM] Shut up and fight to the death! Combat takes too damn long in this system to begin with!

Author's Note: The temptation to name this post "Steve Urkel Sex Joke" just to see what kind of internet traffic it generated was nearly overwhelming.

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